Malfoys do not malfunction
by shooting unicorns
Summary: Draco and Pansy are living the life of the rich and famous and have left the past behind. Perfection crumbles, when their first born is not willing to do magic. Could Scorpius possibly be a Squib? Nerves are on edge... DMxPP
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they are all part of JK Rowling's universe. This will remain true for the following chapters as well.

*****

**CHAPTER 01**

„Who is she?"

His vision was suddenly blocked by a bright whirl of color caused by a magazine dangling just centimeters in front of his eyes. In a high pitched quality, the voice kept on rambling and tapping fingers on the front pictures. Folding the newspaper and putting it aside on the coffee table, Draco grabbed her wrist and moved with a cool movement the magazine out of his face

"Pug – calm down. Your hormones got the best of you again and I won't be able to tell you who the mysterious *she* is as long as I have the magazine right in my face. So calm down and sit."

However, Pansy was too enraged to sit down in one of the fluffy elegant couches and, instead, kept on stomping back and forth in the room while loudly proclaiming what a selfish prick of a husband she had.

"You are so ignorant! I am suffering from cravings, heavy legs and back pain. But I never complain – I am the perfect super star in 9 inch heels and super sexy. I am out there dealing with the paparazzi and the press, going on all these dull parties and events. I am leaving the house every day to give these people something to talk about: I spend money like a bottomless pit; I say stupid things so they can gossip about it and start fake fights in public with my frienemies. I go get my nails done, my hair and my wardrobe checked. I have appointments with my spa and personal trainer… And when I just ask you once to distract the mob from me so that I can go to the medical routine checkup, you do not have anything better to do than to hit on this filthy cheap blonde… I cannot believe you – you cheat on me while I am having our baby and your stupid heir of the Malfoy dynasty!"

Her face had taken on the color of sheer madness and the fact that Draco would not even lose his cool composure drove her crazy. Her last remark was intended to make him jump. Instead, he simply sat there and observed her tantrum with a smirk on his face as if someone had told him a really funny joke about her silliness. It just nurtured her anger as well as it began to dawn on her that he was probably right – she indeed acted irrational, but she was too proud to admit that. Now, she had to go through with the scene, she had caused.

"Pug," he started another attempt to solve the situation. "I really do not get your point. You wanted distraction and I got it done."

"When I said distraction, I did not want you to go to some club with your buddy-buddy Blaise and hook up with some floozy!"

"Well, when Malfoys have the duty to cause diversion, they do their job right. We went to a club. And to do her justice - this blonde is actually not only a floozy as you would call her. She is a filthy rich, famous, no-talent-at-all floozy and heiress of some Hotel chain… I am sure, that will get the press off your back for a while with their annoying questions about your slight weight gain and the baby speculations."

"I hate you!"

"I know, Pansy… that is the basic foundation of our relationship here: strong emotions and huge obligations as well as expectations and of course, no attraction at all." With this, he took back his newspaper and just caught a hushed *Selfish egomaniac* when Pansy left the room with a dramatic air around her.

Draco leant back in the sofa and returned to reading the politics section in the Daily Prophet. Slowly, faces from the past made it into the articles again. Former moderate death-eaters were finishing their prison sentences in Azkaban and others were applying for probation due to good conduct. After the defeat of Voldemort, his parents had gotten away with a relatively mild prison sentence of ten years. Other death-eaters with similar high ranks in the fellowship of Voldemort had been sentenced to life-long imprisonment in isolation. His father had managed, however, to downplay his role in the events. He succeeded to make the judges believe, that he and his wife had acted under duress and were threatened to be subject of vicious torture, to lose their one and only heir as well as their lives. Also, Lucius had managed to convince the jury that he had been under the Imperius Curse for long periods of time and when he had become subject of Leglemency-examinations, he hid and modified his memory to perfection and no proof could be found that he might have had the truth twisted to his advantage. Occlumency ran in the family since generations, the Malfoy dynasty had achieved mastery in it. Now, his parents had started the proceedings to shorten their sentences and due to many bribes, that story had not made any headlines so far. The Malfoy reputation could not be tarnished with bad press and the memory of their role during the past anymore.

It had taken too much effort and time to rebuild their social status again and to modernize and renew it. Back then, Malfoy was associated with rigid traditions, morals and pure-blood politics. They had been known for their wealth and aristocratic pride. Now, the name alone still was a trademark; it still represented prosperity, richness and an unbearable pride which bordered on arrogance and narcissism. However, the pure bloodline had become a subject which one did not talk about in public anymore.

Instead, one talked about the pompous lifestyle of the Malfoy couple. Draco and Pansy had created an image of being modern, fashionable, and exciting. Paparazzi followed them around like puppies taking pictures of whatever the Malfoys were doing. Their life was an open book and the whole wizarding world took part in it. Pansy had started out with her friend Daphne as a page six party-animal and evolved into a fashionista, whose style experiments became trends the next day. When she did not fake fights with Daphne for media-attention, Pansy spent her days going shopping, exposing herself on beaches, charity events and beauty salons. Draco had commenced as a just-for-fun seeker for the West Gate Winged Horses with moderate success, but a huge career ahead of him. This had made him subject of positive media interest and soon the image of an ostrazised pureblood had faded. After a little while, he was inquired to do commercials and adverts due to his athletic physique and good looks. Since the family fortune enabled him to do just as he pleased, he ditched the position as a seeker when the team was on a losing streak. In the whirl of events, he and Pansy had become an item: working hard to restore their reputation, they were seen more frequently together on parties, events and the media interest boomed; they became the number one wizarding couple. Their faces on the cover were a guarantor of high print runs.

Since then, he and Pansy made a living on travelling, setting trends, and earning money for showing up on events and advertising high end products. The public was invited to take part in the wedding ceremony via live media coverage and the young Malfoy achieved mastery in keeping the tabloids full of action without actually sharing their real private behind the curtains life. They lived the dream of thousands of wizards. It was all about cars, clothes, looks and appearances. Their life was perfect. Released and repentant death-eaters did not fit the picture anymore.

After Draco had stared at the newspaper for several minutes without actually looking at it, he got up and decided to look for Pansy. Pregnancy had made her moody, but he had to admit that the pictures in the magazine had been indeed misleading... the brief report was rich in detail and various moving pictures created the impression of a night with benefits. On every picture, the Muggle girl was all over him. The pictures showed how they had worked the dance floor, got close and cozy on a corner sofa in the club. The last photos depicted how they had left the club together in the early morning hours and he had driven her home in his Bugatti Veyron. The paparazzi had done a great job following their every step: the flirting moves, the light touching on arms and legs, the smiles and intimate whispering. They had kept track of the amount of high-end champagne served and their flash lights had gone crazy when he and the girl had left the club arm in arm, giggling and vanished in his car looking drunk and adventurous. Rumors flew high.

With a modification charm, Draco had made sure that his party girl would keep the media busy speculating about a night that was not nearly as exciting as the gossip-hungry minds were fantasizing. He definitely knew how to enjoy himself and frequently indulged in moments like these, but this girl was not his type. He would never get physical with a Muggle; after all, he was a Malfoy and one of the most pure blooded families of the contemporary wizarding world. It had all been about appearance and he had something like a silent agreement with this girl: we want attention, let's make it happen. It was nobody's business that nothing happened in the end.

Well, maybe it was at least in his interest to get his wife out of her hiding place and to appease her mood by telling her what the tabloids did not know. Hence, he left the parlor and the newspaper behind and steered towards her hiding place number one. He left the room, walked past the lounge and the light-flooded entrance hall, climbed the wide quarter turned stairs until he reached the third floor, walked through the master bedroom, the lady parlor and came to an abrupt halt when he turned the doorknob of Pansy's dressing room just to find out, that she had cast a lock-down charm upon it. He could hear her walking up and down the aisles of her enormous wardrobe stuffed with shoes, all kinds of clothes, purses and accessories.

With a gasp of resignation, he knocked on the double door and asked with a strained voice, "Pansy, I know you are in there. I can hear you. Would you mind to open the door so that we can get over this hilarious cover story of mine?" Of course, the doors did not unlock, but the angry stomping of her steps became less severe. 'Damn drama queen!' Draco mumbled and could really envision her, how she stood there in her walk-in closet empire waiting for him to cry his heart out behind closed doors. `This is not about to happen', Draco thought sternly and started knocking again.

"Pansy-Pug, I know that you know that I am aware of the fact that you are in there and locked yourself in this ridiculous fashion vault. That is definitely not a decent and mature reaction. I do not do the door-talk, you know? So, I guess you will not mind much, when I just leave you in there, while I run off to nurture my secret love affair with this blonde bombshell and further the media coverage."

"How dare you!"

With a loud bang the doors flew open and a pink crocodile Birkin bag came shooting at him with full speed. With an effortless movement, he side-stepped it and remarked with a suppressed smile, "Hey, I was a top-notch seeker; I definitely know how to dodge a purse." His eyes were sparkling with amusement when he handed Pansy her purse back with an elegant gesture and slight mocked bow.

Meanwhile, Pansy felt rather silly. Somehow, Draco would turn every situation to his advantage and she did not like to admit defeat. With an annoyed wave of her hand, she took the bag and sat down in a pink plushy armchair next to her summer high heels shoe rack of last season. "Well, I am listening and you better be telling the truth. I am in a really bad mood right now and the fact that I do not fit into a quarter of this stuff anymore does not really work to your advantage."

Draco arched an eye brow when he saw her motioning towards one of her twenty giant wardrobes within the room. "Well," he started, "You do not wear most of it. You wear stuff only once, remember?"

"Shut it, Draco and do not try to avoid the question at hand. I demand the truth, these pictures are intense and… I am turning into a fat pregnant and paranoid pig here!"

"Come on, Pug. We are playing the media game since ages and there is nothing going on there. I did what you wanted me to do and it worked miracles. Nobody is asking annoying baby questions anymore."

He shrugged and Pansy's eyes started to narrow dangerously. "I wanted you to go to the beach topless or to spend horrendous sums of money or walk a street with a coffee stain on your shirt. I did not mean: have a wild night out with the boys and get down with floozies!"

"There was nothing wild about it, to be honest. It is just the typical media business. Seriously, I do not do Muggles."

"She was a Muggle???" Pansy's eyes grew big and her facial expression relaxed. No, she could not imagine Draco to cross such fundamental doctrines of his education. Muggles were untouchable even though she and Draco had started to socialize with them to a minimal extend to keep a tolerant outer appearance.

"Why did the bloody reporter not just say so in the first place?" a relieved smile spread on her face. "Seriously, the whole pregnancy thing is stressing me. I feel constantly like starving, I have gained a whole dress size and all these assumptions about me being pregnant with the Malfoy heir is putting me under too much pressure. If they do not ask me about being pregnant, they put pictures of me on title pages calling me fat and predict my downfall as fashion icon. They even proclaimed Daphne as my successor! Seriously! Nevertheless, I think, with the completion of the first trimester of the pregnancy, we should tell the press. Then, the chances of losing the child have reduced significantly and afterwards, it will be hard to cover up the showing belly anyway."

Draco nodded slightly and stroked a stubborn strand of hair out of his vision. An heir of the Malfoy family had always been subject of public interest and scrutiny. Pureblood offspring had become rare nowadays, even though, the topic of purity was very sensitive and better left untouched.

"What do you think about the charity ball of the Society for Support of Squibs? It is only three weeks away. My night out will keep the press busy another week at least and you can lay back, relax and get ready for the ball. And till then, we just keep on denying the whole thing." Draco recommended.

"The event is a brilliant idea; it would also show off how tolerant and open-minded we are. We would have to donate a small fortune in order to support any of their ludicrous facilities. Do they actually built facilities for these malfunctioning people? Whatever, we have to donate!"

Draco had trouble surpressing a smile, which despeately wanted to escape his controlled features. "I guess they build mixed kindergardens and schools. I think they also offer support groups for affected parents." With a nonchalant gesture, Pansy made clear that she was not interested in further enlighment of the undertakings of the Squib Society.

"Draco, talk to the hand - I do not care. Our lives will become more settled and we will be subjected to a whole lot more public scrutiny. We need a masterplan; we need to hype this as an event and make it superior to any potential criticism or scandal. We need the right media-campaign."

Draco frowned, "Media-campaign? What for? We are not going to sell the child, are we?" with a smirk he added "I bet that would make really bad headlines!"

Pansy felt her anger rise once again, "Quit the joking, you know that the public wants pictures, stories and all that stuff. If we do not deliver it voluntarily, the press will make something up. We could make a lot of money and it could boost our image further as a picture-perfect family that has outgrown the past and the rough times. We could ditch the whole party-animal façade and grow up with this! That is a milestone on our path to create a new image of purebloods and Malfoys!"

"While you are at it, we have to make the media too busy to even think about reporting about the release of my parents!"

A conspiratorial smile spread over Pansy's face and the sly glimmer in her eyes gave away her excitement about the events in front of her, "Hun, I did not become the Queen of Slytherin for nothing - you of all people should know that. I make some calls and I guess I have to induct Daphne in our scheme. But I need to focus on the task at hand – the ball!"

With this, she arose elegantly from the sofa and moved down the aisle dedicated to formal dresses. Her fingertips wandered playfully over the hangers while her mind was obviously regretting the fact that she would not be able to squeeze herself in any of her size zero ball gowns.

"Only three weeks to go and so much to do! And what shall I wear then for the ball? It has to make me look fabulous and make me shine and flaunt my baby curves and since I will not fit in any of these, maybe I should call for a designer to show me next years collection or just get a tailor myself. Maybe we should go in matching colors or…"

Draco realized that the conversation was over. Pansy was lost in her paradise of silk, shoes and shiny things. He turned and left Pansy in her one hundred square meter wonderland of high priced fashion and made a mental note: only twenty one days to go. Afterwards nothing would be like before.

*****

Author Note: This is my first fanfic. The story is stuck in my head since a while now, so I decided to write it down since it will hunt me anyway. Hence, if you like it or hate it or have any kind of remark about it, show some support and review. I would really appreciate it =)


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 02**

For a while now, Draco had not seen Pansy without her favorite new little *cannot go without* accessory. For the occasion of plotting a new master strategy, she had gotten herself a rare little two-way-mirror powder box with Swarovski all over it and had equipped all relevant friends and insiders with the tiny shiny device; except Draco. He had plainly refused to wander around with a metro-sexual item like this. He had argued that he was naturally handsome and this female item would severely diminish his masculinity and attractiveness. Maybe, he would have agreed to a manlier thing like a watch or cufflinks. But even then, he would not have felt comfortable walking in public and looking for the rest of the world like monologizing. Pansy had created a new hype with the ridiculous make-up/communication thing and the little powder boxes had already hit the *must have* lists of all celebrities, wannabes and fashion magazines.

Nevertheless, Pansy had been basically glued to her powder box with a quite impressive routine going on: first, shouting a name into the little mirror on the inner side of the lid; second, perform some peculiar hand movement and from then on; third, one would only see her moving her lips rapidly without making a sound due to some locally restricted silence charm. This way she could walk, talk, shop and look stunningly good at once. She always had a thing for style, time management and maximum efficiency. Obviously, for Pansy, it could hardly get any better than that.

Much to Draco's relief, that morning Pansy entered the dining room without her new powder companion. Draco had never been much of a morning person – strictly speaking, he did not even consider himself a *person* during these early hours. Rather, he felt like a grumpy force of nature that was only tamable by a calm and relaxed morning routine and a really nice breakfast; hectic babbling and squeaking discussions were rather counterproductive to lighten his mood. Besides, once his morning was spoilt, the whole day would just be awful.

Naturally, his mood took a change for the better, when Pansy sat down quietly on her chair at the other end of the long oak dining table. With mighty appetite and a slight hint of a smile, he dug his fork into the smoking omelette garnished with caviar and lobster. 'Perfect early morning start', he thought to himself while he inhaled the full aroma of this breakfast.

However, his pleasure was short-lived when suddenly his darling wife vanquished with a flick of her wand any delicious aromas whatsoever from the breakfast table accompanied by loud moaning. "Morning sickness, I cannot stand any odor coming from food of whichever kind. Seriously, I thought you would show some compassion. I get sick from smelling food, but I have cravings nonetheless. I am basically starving!" Pansy emphasized her point by shoving her plate aside and making a pouting face.

"Pug, I feel you indeed." He groaned hungrily. Halfheartedly, he poked the omelette with his fork which had completely lost its appeal to him. His morning had just turned into a disaster. Why did she have to banish smells instead of plugging her nose? Why did everyone have to suffer for her condition? Draco was slightly aware that he was not all that innocent about her *condition*, but still – this was breakfast!

"Don't you have some important conspirator to call? Why don't you go, grab your powder compact and terrorize some random happy spirit instead of spoiling my omelette?" Resigned, Draco pushed the omelette out of the way and leaned annoyed back in his chair.

"You know, there are people on this planet, who actually get up early and get stuff done before breakfast. Though this is probably a rather foreign concept for late risers like you!" Pansy snapped, "I have already contacted the relevant people. The only person, who has apparently been swallowed up by the earth, is Daphne – which is indeed inconvenient. Otherwise, I have talked to several designers about marketing my line of pregnancy fashion as well as exclusive baby accessories. I also talked to Millicent – you remember, I got her a job at Witch Weekly? – anyway, she will be our number one contact to promote the whole pregnancy story, the new born baby pictures, the first steps, first word, first broom ride photos and all that. I also talked to several other contacts, whether they would be interested in documenting our life for a couple of days to show off how we settle down and prepare for our parental future. However, the interest is minor so far. I guess it is like this because the concept is so new and foreign to them… still, I think, it would be crazy successful!"

While Pansy prattled on, Draco's head started to buzz. He was in a really bad mood, he was very hungry and his ears rang due to Pansy's voice that always had the tendency of rising in pitch when she got excited. With an evil glare he starred on the table and drummed with his fingers, while Pansy went on about some well known mystical animal protection agency who wanted to book her for some bizarre photo shooting to denounce fur coats composed of infant bicorn fur.

'Weren't bicorns the creatures that devoured husbands?' Draco was sidetracked from Pansy's lecture by debating in his mind, whether it was preferable to be eaten by a bicorn or to listen to Pansy. Maybe he should just find out where exactly Daphne had disappeared to so he could join her. He had no time to come to a conclusion on these fundamental choices, when suddenly his train of thought was unexpectedly interrupted by Pansy's powder box.

The powder box in question whirled at top speed through the doorway arch. The sharp turn towards the dining table got the little device spinning and the otherwise always elegant landing was dampened by the crash into the sugar bowl. Jumping nervously out of the bowl and leaving a faint trail of sugar crystals behind, the compact hopped towards Pansy, its lid snapping open and closed whilst a loud voice erupted from it, "Pansy, this is Daphne calling –where are you, for Merlin's sake? Did this mirror really just crash into something? The fluctuating in the mirror makes me nauseous!"

Pansy held out her hand and the little mirror flipped open when the powder compactor lollopped into her right palm, "Daphne, long time no see, my friend." Pansy chirped, while Draco took a pained look at his watch and got up from the table. Pansy interrupted her conversation with a questioning glance, "Where are you going? You did not touch your food at all…"

Draco shrugged, "I'm fine. I just realized that the sun is shining and birds are flying peacefully out there. Thought it might not hurt to shake them up a little bit on a broom, right? I figured breakfast is over now and in here, I would probably just inhibit the real girl-to-girl talk after all." Mentally, Draco congratulated himself to the dumbest and most obvious white lie he had ever told. Probably it was all due to his lack of food and his bad mood – how was his brain supposed to work cleverly and quickly when it was so clearly malnourished?

Pansy chuckled and got hold of his sleeves when he moved past her chair towards the doorway, "Come on Draco – I know if I let you go now, you will be a grumpy mess for the rest of the day. Let me cheer you up, huh?"

"A time-warp would be nice – back to my steaming, delicious omelette." He daydreamed aloud while he looked at her mischievously from the corners of his eyes.

"I think, I am sure, that I have something better than that!" Pansy proclaimed with a meaningful smile on her face. When she saw Draco arching an eyebrow, she knew that she had his attention. Slowly she let go of his sleeve and with a quick flick of her wrist, she produced two Quidditch tickets out of nowhere. His grey eyes grew wide and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

"VIP seats with a panorama view for tonight. Our last night out before we declare parenthood. I thought you might enjoy these tickets. So be sure to not roam too far astray on your bird hunt!" Pansy winked at him playfully.

Then, a distinctive cough erupted from the powder compactor, "Sorry to interrupt you, my sweet little lovebirds, but I do not have all day to witness your cute intimate moments there. When Pansy left one million notes to my house elves to return her calls, I actually figured, it might be urgent. Is it not?"

Slowly, Pansy switched her attention back to the makeup device, which still rested in her palm, "Yes, ehm- my fault" she responded. "And it is important indeed. We should meet and have a skim Chai Tea Latte in Diagon Alley."

Again, Draco felt that it was time to make an exit. Pansy had definitely managed to improve his badly commenced day. He never quite understood how she managed her abrupt persona change. But who cared in the end? Somehow, she had managed the unthinkable: she had actually surprised him and cheered him up. When he walked past her, he mumbled a barely audible "Mrs. Malfoy - I believe, we are having a date tonight" With a swift movement he snatched the tickets from Pansy's hand and left the room with his trade-mark smirk on his lips.

*****

Author Note: Somehow, this ended up really short. When I started writing, it became epic in length and it was not possible to divide it at a later point of the story. So I decided to make the cut here. Too bad, that all the cat-fight action ended up in the other chapter as well… I will upload it as soon as possible =)

Please read and review! Just let me know, that you did not just click it away, but that you actually read this. I am grateful for any constructive criticism, ideas, etc. but a simple *read it* would also be awesome!

To avoid confusion:

**Two-way-mirror**: According to Rowling, electronic things malfunction in the presence of magic. So, I could not provide Pansy with a cell phone. And honestly, carrying a bunch of owls around all day or sending howlers/ paper planes to whomever did not seem appropriate either. Rowling mentions a two-way-mirror which was a way of communication between Sirius and James. Hence, I *modernized* the idea to have a cell phone-like item which matched the universe and still had a lady-like appeal to it (and it had to fit into a purse… have you ever seen a bunch of owls lurking out of a purse???).

**Monologizing**: When people with head-sets walk and talk on the streets/ in the trains, they often look like talking to themselves to me. Hence, this is what this word is supposed to describe here. I am not sure about the word, though.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 03**

"When was your meeting with Daphne supposed to take place? According to my watch it should be in ten minutes from now", Draco remarked, when he looked at Pansy who was adding some final touches to her appearance. With a flick of her wand, she had just given her bangs a soft side sweep and added some shiny highlights.

"Hopefully, traveling won't mess up my hair again. I really hate it, when that happens" Pansy said, while studying her reflection in the mirror.

"You're a stunning beauty, Mrs. Malfoy", the mirror squeaked and a self-satisfied smile spread on Pansy's face, when she turned towards Draco.

"How are we travelling to Diagon Alley anyway? I refuse to floo there, since it will make me look like an utter mess with all the dusty remains; people might get the impression that I suffer from dandruff!" Pansy looked at Draco expectantly, but he was distracted by the mirror which had just announced that he had an image of perfection.

Pansy snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, "Earth to Mr. Image of Perfection! How do we get to Diagon Alley?"

"Well, since Mrs. Stunning is too conceited to floo and her date takes place right about now, we should consider apparition, shouldn't we?"

"I'm not conceited! But last time I used the floo-network, I looked like I had just single-handedly battled a Chinese Fireball. My hair resembled a rat's nest and my clothing was in shreds!"

"You're exaggerating… it wasn't that bad." But in spite of everything, a smirk graced his features, when he remembered the incident.

Meanwhile, Pansy decided to ignore his snickering, "I'm not concentrated enough to apparate. My mind always trails off to Daphne and stuff. I'm not really eager to pull a Susan Bones and get myself splinched. As humiliating dandruffs can be, I don't even want to start thinking about becoming the next Nearly Headless Nick, you know!"

With this, Draco burst into laughter, but when he met Pansy's chilling gaze, he composed himself quickly and extended his arms towards her. "Okay, since you're not opting at running late, I'll give you an emergency piggyback apparition-ride."

When Pansy starred at him and did not move an inch, Draco waved at her impatiently, "Come on, amenities don't last long – take it or leave it. And I also have stuff to do in Diagon Alley myself, so hurry up."

"Indeed, your niceties are normally followed by some fine print." Pansy retorted coolly.

"As you can imagine, I'm not really keen on being married to a headless person with all the headless head-lines – and just so you know, my civility has reached half-time by now." Draco stated casually, while he tucked one hand in a laid back motion into the side pocket of his jeans and only one hand remained extended towards Pansy who still just looked at him quizzically.

Slowly, he started counting down, "All right, this offer is going to expire in three, two, one, and – "

"Okay, okay!" Quickly, Pansy took hold of his extended hand and twisted their fingers together tightly. She had hardly time to take a deep breath before Draco continued "- and go!" and the familiar pressure squeezed her chest together and her vision turned into a nauseating whirl of colors.

Just seconds later, a slightly pale Pansy arrived at the coffeehouse, while Draco had headed off towards the Gringotts Bank. Pansy assumed that he would pick her up afterwards, which left her with a time frame of roughly an hour to deal with Daphne.

After entering the coffeehouse through the revolving entrance door, Pansy let her gaze wander through the room and over the various little coffee tables. The room was filled with a low but constant babble of voices and animated talks over steaming coffee mugs. The coffee aroma floated through the air and created a warm and cozy ambience. When Pansy was sure that Daphne was not waiting at one of the tables, she steered towards a small table in a remote corner and ordered a Grande Chai Tea Latte.

Somehow, she was rather grateful for the fact that Daphne was not there yet and she used the moment to recite the things that she wanted to discuss with her friend while she stirred absent-minded with her spoon in the tea cup. Settling herself in one of the plush armchairs, she allowed her thoughts to wander.

Daphne and she went far back: they had been best friends in Hogwarts and even closer companions after the downfall of Voldemort. They had stuck together through all the public scorn and malice that they had earned due to their pureblood upbringing and Death-Eater connection. Pansy had been shunned for her attempt to reveal Harry Potter's whereabouts during the battle in Hogwarts. Nobody was interested in the fact that she had been a student who was frightened to death for her parents and her life. Slytherin pureblood stories did not sell well, hence, no one was interested and avoiding her company had been the common code of conduct. Everyone had ignored her - everyone but Daphne!

Daphne's parents had not gotten personally involved in Voldemort's plot to take over the wizarding world. However, they had donated all their accumulated wealth to *the cause*. When Voldemort's cause was lost, so were the donations and the Greengrass fortune. Daphne's parents had trouble to explain their sudden impoverishment, but the family had experienced much less public disgrace than the Parkinsons or the Malfoys. Like Pansy, Daphne had been used to a life in luxury and a rather decadent and spoilt life style. However, Daphne's extravagances had come to an abrupt end.

At the same time, Pansy was living in financial abundance, but due to the social ostracism, there wasn't really any way to enjoy her wealth. Thus, they had ended up partners in crime. Pansy had equipped them with the latest fashion, the jewelry and come up for all additional expenses, while Daphne had ensured entrance to all major red-carpet events and night clubs. They had become an inseparable team and had developed the image of party girls and fashion icons; it had become a competition between them to date the TOP 3 of anything: TOP 3 of the most wanted models, bachelors, the TOP 3 of the richest, hottest actors, athletes and musicians. They had dated everyone famous, rich and with a name to it.

Since then, Daphne had managed to make a small fortune herself over the course of time with advertising, modeling as well as some simple pop music and had become independent from Pansy's resources. Moreover, her notorious and horrendously expensive shopping sprees kept the press nearly as busy as her ever changing affairs and little scandals on the side.

Today, Pansy had set the reunion with Daphne to elaborate on their business/friendship in the future. For Pansy, the times of drinking, partying and random dating were a thing of the past. With the pregnancy, her marriage was finally set in stone – pureblood couples did not break up when children were involved. Children were sacred and ensured the survival of the dynasty and, therewith, the bloodline. And how did one combine a serious picture-perfect family image with a redundant frenemieship on the side? Things had to change and become more grown-up, Pansy thought.

With the typical ten minutes of tardiness, Daphne entered the coffee shop with her classic inconspicuous conspicuity. She had attempted a casual look to blend in with the crowd of regular mortal wizards, but had ended up with a jeans slightly too tight, a shirt slightly too bright, accessories slightly too expensive and a pair of extra huge and dark shades covering half her face. Everything about her screamed: I am an undercover celebrity!

With brisk steps, Daphne crossed the room and settled with a swift movement in the chair opposite of Pansy.

"Well, Daph-Daph has made it here, so what's all this fuzz about? What made you swamp my place with 'vitally important' ringback messages?" Her eyes sparkled expectantly, when she removed her shades and placed them on the table.

"Not vitally important enough obviously to answer my request in a timely manner or to be here on time. I guess, I will probably have to start sending you the real urgent ones in Hogwarts-style and have them flooding through your chimney and the mail slot." Pansy remarked dryly.

"Anyway, what's up? If it's really that pressing, you must be up to something interesting. And taking your weight gain into consideration, it must be something huge – wait! I know! You're finally getting your divorce papers filed?"

Daphne sighed deeply, while Pansy had trouble not to choke on her tea, "I always thought that it was loooong since overdue! Relationships which last longer than three month are the downfall of any flirty party girl image! But seriously, it is such a smart move to think ahead and put on some heartache-pounds. And the cheating-story in this context was sheer genius. You've always been an amazing long-term strategist. Just make sure, that you finish it on your terms and to your advantage. The public has to really feel your pain and to relate to you and…"

Daphne interrupted her speech mid-sentence when she saw the face of her friend darken. "What's wrong, dear?"

Pansy wiggled her right hand, which showcased her stunning 6.04 carat wedding ring, which shone in an unusual blue hue and matched Pansy's eye color in every facet.

Fighting back the annoyance that she felt when dealing with this topic, Pansy proclaimed, "I told you uncountable times by now – Parkinsons only marry once in a lifetime. Girls are raised to stick to their men no matter what. You know the rules of the game, so stop playing the divorce card."

"I'm just being a friend here," Daphne shrugged, "You are missing out on a lot of fun and prospects. We're a great team and I just see you slipping off of those cover pages and headlines. It's all about Draco and his affairs and what do you get? The weight-gain story, while he is having a fling with a blonde hussy. He is turning you into a stereotype pure-blood housewife and I just don't understand why you plainly refuse to profit from the few advantages that we got from – you know – losing *the cause*. Liberate yourself of old-fashioned doctrines of pureblood conventions."

"My marriage has never been an issue here, nor will it ever become one! In fact, there are other pressing subjects that we should be discussing right now." Pansy clarified stiffly. Slowly, her temper began to rise. This conversation was not heading in the direction that she had intended. Moreover, she was rather annoyed that Daphne never passed up a chance to point out her "stupidity" to settle down.

Unimpressed, Daphne rambled on, "Seriously, what has happened to the fun-loving Pansy that went partying and was up to anything? When I get up in the morning, I don't know how the day will end: there's no routine, no obligations - just excitement and going with the flow of things. Why can't we just go back to where we started out? As party dream team! Our image is based on being light-hearted and funny. We were the role models for all single girls out there! We come as a pair – we don't sell well individually. We represent single ladies, best-friends and witch-power!"

Pansy shook her head and started to uncomfortably stir her latte again. She knew that she owed her friend. Without her support, Pansy would probably still be shunned and scorned. Inwardly, Pansy realized that her intention of telling Daphne about her retreat from the party-image was a harder task than expected. They did have a good time back then, but things had changed. She was going to be a mother in roughly six months. She wanted to have a real family – one of the kinds that she never had herself; and both things did not go well together.

Slowly, Pansy averted her gaze from her lukewarm beverage. With a low voice, she tried to reason with her friend, who looked at her expectantly, "Daphne, this is actually, what I intended to talk to you about. Our lives have developed very different lately and I have simply outgrown the party- and frenemie-phase. If we want to keep our outer appearance as best friends attractive to the press, we should talk about the media-image thing. Especially, since we will probably grow apart even further since Draco and I have taken it to the next level. You know, we -"

Pansy did not get to finish her sentence. As soon as her glance locked with Daphne's dangerously narrowed eyes, Pansy realized that something in her speech had triggered Daphne's suspicion.

"I don't get your point – being in different situations did not hinder our media image up to now. Why should our friendship suddenly develop into a problem? Why change something that worked miracles so far?" Daphne asked, her eyes widening in disbelief.

With a demonstrative wave of her hands, Pansy looked her friend into the eyes and said conciliatorily "No, our friendship is not the problem; rather, it is the way we have decided to go on with our lives and this is an irreversible process – we're at the crossroads. And I have chosen a more serious turn, while you are still fancy-free and -"

With a disconcerting gleam in her eyes, Daphne leaned over the table towards Pansy and hissed accusatorily, "What's that supposed to mean? Are life-affirming and frolicking spirits not welcomed in Malfoy Mansion anymore? I tell you something, my dear friend! I might be living for the moment, but I'm living my life according to my rules and my preferences."

Pansy shifted slightly in her chair. From the corner of her eyes, she could see some heads turning into their direction, so she send a fake smile into the crowd to create some diversion. Meanwhile, her mind raced, trying to find the reason for Daphne's mood swing. Had anything she had said been ambiguous or discriminating? This conversation had taken an unexpected turn and somehow, she had to pacify Daphne; an angry Daphne was a force to reckon with.

Pansy took a deep breath, "No, you got me all wrong here. I didn't intend to judge your lifestyle. I just wanted to inform you that we –"

"Spare me," Daphne spat. "I am living for joy and what do you do? You completely replaced the single you with the plural you. Every day you get up for being Draco's fashionable trophy wife. Oh, pardon me – you slipped off the fashion page by now. Rumor has it that fashion became too tight on you. So apparently, you will have to settle for being a cheating husband's wife instead. That sounds like real fun! So who are you to judge me?"

"That's it, Daphne!" Pansy had trouble to keep her face blank, but her eyes shot daggers, "I'm not sure, what you're playing at, but this scene here is bizarre and has not a single thing to do with anything I said. Don't mistake me as responsible for your shallow excuse of a lifestyle. You're proud of being a fun-loving, carefree club slut, but when it comes down to the facts: you missed the point of no return! Nobody wants to get serious with a witch-whore, so leave me and my marriage out of it."

Daphne took a sharp breath, "Because your man-whore is so serious with you, isn't he? Clean out your own closet before you even start thinking about mine."

In mock surprise, Pansy arched an eye brow and snapped with a sugar-coated smile plastered on her face, "It is really sad that you can't come up with something more sophisticated but the same old retort as every time. And just for your apparently broken record: we are expecting a baby and he did not cheat with this floozy. It was staged!"

"Whatever puts you to rest at night," Daphne sneered at Pansy. "Your whole marriage is a scam. You have delusioned yourself into believing this scam. He is a Malfoy after all. So tell me, when was the last time he embraced you other than for the paparazzi? And when you think very hard, did he ever tell you, that he loved you other than on a sofa for interview purposes?"

With a smug smile on her face, Daphne waited dismissively for her words to show effect. She knew that she had just touched Pansy's sore spot.

"I wasn't aware that you would stoop that low. You're life must be awfully lonely when you had to follow my relationship in the media to deflect from your own shallow and pathetic solitude. I pity you." Pansy retorted sharply and watched Daphne's expression go blank.

Much to her relief, she saw Draco's slender figure enter the coffeehouse and observed him scanning the room for her. Quickly, Pansy grabbed her purse, but before she could rise from her seat, Daphne reached over the table and took a hold of her arm, "Apologize!"

Pansy wrestled her arm free and retorted coolly, "I wouldn't know what for." With that, she rose from the chair, slung her purse nonchalantly over her shoulder and without wasting a single glance backwards she made her way towards Draco, who lent casually at the wall next to the entrance waiting for Pansy to come over. Little did she know that the abrupt movement of her handbag caused her tea to spill all over the white jeans of Daphne who was left fuming in her chair.

*****

**Author Note:** Thanks to all my reviews so far! Reviews really make my day!


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 04**

The atmosphere in the sold-out stadium was tense and excited. While the cheaper tiers were cramped with people, Draco and Pansy had comfortable seats, a lot of space and a perfect surround view from the elevated VIP lounge.

The whistle had already signaled the start of the match between the Westgate Winged Horses versus the Wimbourne Wasps. With the sound of the whistle, Draco was completely lost in the game and followed every move of his former team mates: how they sped at full throttle through the air, chasing quaffles, dodging bludgers. However, his utmost attention was paid to the two seekers whose coats billowed excitedly in the evening breeze. Currently, they circled the pitch looking attentively for the golden snitch.

Meanwhile, Pansy sat on his lap twisting pieces of bewitched cotton candy off the enormous portion and was completely oblivious to the match. With her back resting against Draco's chest, she observed the reporters. 'Could it possibly be right, that Daphne had not leaked a single word to the press about their argument in the coffeehouse?'

Absentmindedly, she nibbled at her cotton candy and watched out for cameras which pointed in their direction in order to make sure that the potential story for tomorrow's edition was accompanied by a cute couple picture.

Pansy was not entirely certain what she had expected to happen. Had she expected that a crowd of over-eager reporters would bombard her with questions? Why should anyone care about one more fight between her and Daphne, when they had a fighting routine going on for quite a while? Had she expected them to reveal confidential knowledge that could only stem from the infamous Daphne Greengrass?

Probably Draco had been right when he said that she would only shoot herself in the foot by divulging Pansy's dirty little secrets to the press – not that there were any besides a few innocent youthful follies like her seduction of the tax investigator who had tracked down her Muggle income and intended to charge her for serious tax evasions. The Muggle income had accidentally accumulated on that one sun-shiny day when she had pretended to be a fortune teller on a Muggle fair by invading their minds – she had earned quite a pretty sickle. The problem only arose afterwards, when she had to modify the memory of an investigator from the Magical Watch Squad in order to get her case of 'Fraud with Muggle Minds' closed and to avoid proceedings. Yes, well – her life had not been boring, but who could blame her for that?

Anyway, let bygones be bygones. These matters were in the past and undertaken by the old Pansy; the new Pansy was totally different and had risen above such trouble. Nowadays, she was serious and married and pregnant.

"– and now, in a steep dive, Wayne Looney flings the quaffle towards the Winged Horse chaser Davy Blackhen and he –oooouh! He got smacked by one of the bludgers; and does not get hold of the quaffle correctly. His broom tail is swinging madly, but he tosses it towards the hoops aaaand – misses it by inches – only by inches! But what is happening now? Has Blackhen lost his balance? Can he keep hold of his broom???"

Draco shifted in his seat and interrupted Pansy in her train of thought. "Get a hold of your freaking broom!" Draco shouted, "Seriously, what is a bloody amateur like you doing on the pitch anyway? Did you see that Pug? That idiot clings to his broom like the Weaslebee back in 5th grade. Put me blindfolded on a Cleansweep and I would still outshine this sad excuse of a quidditch chaser."

An audible breath of relief erupted from the audience when Blackhen managed to get control over his broom again and returned to chasing the quaffles. Pansy just mumbled some incomprehensive syllables in agreement, while her gaze was glued to an annoying fly that kept on soaring disturbingly close to her face.

"You know, this is the part, where you're supposed to say 'Yes, Draco, you're the best Draco, you're awesome, Draco!' or –".

Suddenly, Pansy's cotton candy collided with his cheek, while she kept on fidgeting on his lap and swung her arms wildly. "Seriously, Pug, what's wrong with you?!"

Pansy looked at him sheepishly and composed herself again. "Pardon – what did you say? I was distracted by this fly that keeps on buzzing around me."

"Sure, flies – as if there would be any insects in the VIP lounge!" Draco frowned disapprovingly at his wife while he tore off some cotton candy, shoved it into his mouth and started choking immediately.

In fact, he started choking so bad, that Pansy had trouble keeping her balance. Holding her cotton candy at a safe distance, she dug her fingers into his shoulder while he coughed and grimaced and turned slightly pink. "You know, 'I told you so' just doesn't quite say it." Pansy remarked gleefully.

Slowly, his coughing fit ebbed away, while Pansy patiently patted his back with her free hand and smirked triumphantly at him as he proclaimed, "This would have been unthinkable in the past! What happened to the high customer standards for the VIP clientele? What are we paying money for, when we're seated like the ragtag down there? Damn, I nearly choked on an insect! I guess there are hardly any less flattering ways to get you killed!"

"Don't overdo it. It was just a fly and you didn't eat it, did you? So, do you fancy any more cotton candy?" Pansy swung her candy temptingly in response, but Draco chose to ignore it and her snickering.

"At least, my misery cheered you up. Your quiet gloominess all afternoon was kind of disturbing." With a clearing gesture, Draco brought the cotton candy out of his immediate sight.

"So, it is disturbing to you that I turn gloomy after fighting with my best friend in a coffee shop? You know, in a way, you were not all innocent about it!", she said while brushing the drenched fly off the armrest.

Draco arched an eyebrow disbelievingly, "How, could I? I wasn't even there and it is not like –"

"Well, it is the same old story: girl friendship breaking up due to guy entering the scene." Pansy interrupted him midsentence.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Anyway – you know, what's actually good to know?" Pansy looked at Draco expectantly, but he just shrugged and tried to catch up with the ongoing match again.

"I really appreciate that me being all quiet is unsettling for you. I was under the impression this morning that quiet gloominess would have pleased you more." And while she kept on teasing him with his morning grumpiness and his involvement in breaking up a friendship, Draco abruptly froze. His arm around Pansy's waist tightened and Pansy looked at him surprised.

"Pansy, do you see this camera guy over there with the bald patch?" He asked with a low voice.

"Whom? There are quite a few balding camera guys down there in the press tier. You have to be a little bit more precise."

"Well, this guy with the tousled black hair over there and the heart-shaped balding spot. He is looking at us funny and he seems strangely familiar."

Pansy found the man in the crowd of reporters in the tier below and immediately struck a pose, when he indicated to raise his camera in their direction.

"That's Bozo – the henchman of Rita Skeeter. When he is standing there, she can't be far away!" Pansy voiced through her gritted teeth. Her whole facial expression was a controlled smile, but when she turned her head towards Draco, she realized that his whole expression had turned blank.

With a soft poke in the rips she mumbled, "Don't look like that, come on! It's a public place and there is a camera pointed at you!", but as a response, Draco looked at her perplexed and whispered, "Merlin! If this is Bozo and I just nearly choked on a fly– "

"Gosh, how often do you intend to bring up this annoying fly?"

"What if this fly was not a fly in the narrow sense?" Draco stuttered and Pansy's eyebrows shot up when comprehension dawned on her.

"You mean, you just choked on Rita Skeeter?" and when she saw him indicating a nod, she added "If this really was a Skeeter fly, it would have been wiser to eat her, because otherwise, we have another scandal at hand right after the Daphne issue!"

"Well-well, so this is how the infamous Malfoys try to cover up their dirty little secrets – by devouring inconvenient journalists who are in the possession of compromising information."

A soaking wet Rita slid elegantly in the seat next to the Malfoy couple and her legendary acid green quill hovered next to her and had already started to scribble notes down on the notebook floating below. With a flick of her wand, Rita dehumidified herself and returned her undivided attention to the stunned couple.

"A little bird told me about you, Mrs. Malfoy, and Daphne Greengrass having a serious argument earlier today. Can you give me a statement about that?" Rita remarked while positioning her rhinestone glasses.

Pansy and Draco exchanged a glance. There was no fooling around with Rita Skeeter – scandalmonger extraordinaire. She was known to dig deep into other people's private lives for a good story; she made and ruined reputations and careers with her articles. In silent agreement, they decided to stick as close to the truth as possible.

"It was only a minor argument about trivialities. As it is generally known, Daphne and I have a very bubbly friendship. We get mad at each other easily, but we make up soon afterwards." Pansy shared, but immediately wondered herself, whether she actually believed it herself this time. To her, it rather felt like the words spoken in the coffeehouse had left their friendship damaged and cracked.

"Mrs. Malfoy, several guests have witnessed the scene and I would like to remind you calling her a witch whore. That does not seem so minor and trivial to me and the public."

Pansy flinched inwardly at this remark.

Unimpressed, Rita continued, „Also, rumor has it, that the subject of your fight was involving your husband – any comments?"

Draco shook off the shock of nearly suffocating on Rita Skeeter and stated calmly, "I'm certain my wife does not employ such vulgar expressions in her vocabulary."

Rita tossed a curious look at him and her pencil eyebrow rose in expectant anticipation, "So you don't deny the fact that you are at the bottom of this argument? So, tell me first-handedly – what did you do to ruin this close and long-term friendship? Did you bend the rules again regarding your marriage vows? Could you probably have had an affair with your wife's best friend? As news lately indicate, you don't see your vow as a restriction when it comes to extramarital flings."

In quite intimidating lightning-speed, Rita's quill wrote down notes on the pad with a slight scratching sound. Draco tried to keep up his nonchalant composure, but inwardly, he had the queasy feeling that Rita had not yet forgiven him for the cotton candy incident earlier.

"The incident concerning the girl a couple a weeks ago was a misinterpreted event. I can only repeat my statement, that nothing happened that night and it is a sneaky attempt to hurt my reputation and my marriage. And in regard to your speculations, I can only say that I am a public person. Wherever I go, there are paparazzi present. I highly doubt that any kind of fling would possibly remain unnoticed and undocumented. So, I can assure you that I am not involved romantically with anyone else." Draco stated firmly, while Pansy patted his shoulder and looked confidently at Rita.

"Of course, you're not." Rita snorted, "Anyway – I heard through the grapevine that you are expecting a baby, Mrs. Malfoy. Is that the last attempt to salvage your marriage?"

While Rita searched Pansy's face for a reaction, Pansy's world had narrowed down on the word 'baby'. 'How could she possibly know about that? Nobody knew about it – nobody but Daphne!' Pansy's smile froze when it hit her. Daphne had revealed her secret about the pregnancy to Rita Skeeter. Now her moment to shine was ruined. Her unborn child was being used for a public revenge campaign instigated by Daphne. Pansy would not let her get away with this. 'I will make you pay, you bitch!'

Slowly, a cool smile spread over Pansy's face, when she addressed Rita, "There is no need to fix anything that is perfect already. In fact, it is a planned child and we are looking forward to it a lot. We have already started looking up names and furnishing the nursery. Please tell your readers that we are very excited to become parents!"

With a clap, Rita's notepad flew shut and the quill hovered confident above it. Seemingly satisfied, Rita rose from her seat that she had occupied for quite a while. "I'm done here. I got everything I needed." With a curt nod, she strode purposefully out of the VIP lounge towards Bozo, whom she motioned to follow her.

Pansy and Draco were starring at each other in silence.

Meanwhile, the match was heating up. "But there, in the upper left corner behind the West Winged Horses hoop, the Oily Khan, the seeker of the Winged Horses, goes into a steep dive – vertically darting towards the base of the pitch. Has he possibly got a glimpse of the snitch? But now, the Wasp's seeker is following his example! Swirls of maroon-black and yellow are plunging at breakneck speed towards the ground!!!" the commentator shouted animatedly, but none of the Malfoys paid attention to him.

"What did just happen?" Draco asked and broke the silence.

"I'm not sure, but I guess we have no choice than waiting for tomorrow's edition of Witch Weekly" Pansy sighed.

*****

**Author's Note**: All names of the quidditch players are borrowed from real life soccer stars. If you can guess who they are, I award you with some brownie points =)


End file.
